Category Archives: life

Why You Laugh and Cry

May 16, 2010

Cry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

May 16, 2010

The other day I got sucked into a movie I didn’t want to see.  It wasn’t because I don’t like the movie or that I was humoring my wife (well, okay, I was… a little).  It’s because I didn’t want to cry… and I knew that movie would make me cry.

There are certain movies that make me cry, guaranteed.  And Steel Magnolias is one of them.  Go on, laugh.  But you watch it again and you’ll know what I mean.

You see, the first time you watch a movie that makes you cry, you don’t cry like the second time, or third time, or fourth time you watch it.  That’s because the first time you watch it, it’s unexpected.  It either sneaks up on you or hits you all of a sudden, and the cry just kinda comes out of you from surprise.

The next time you watch a cry movie, you know you are going to cry.  From the minute the credits roll, you know there is going to come that scene or scenes that will open the flood gates to your heart.

Crying isn’t bad.  In fact it is very healthy.  But crying when you don’t want to but you know you will is awkward.  Because you cry when something is true, but it is so goddamned sad, like when Sally Fields finally breaks down after her daughter’s funeral with her untethered tirade about how unfair and senseless death is. 

That is very true.  And it is so goddamned sad.

The upside to all of this is that most movies that make you cry usually also make you laugh… for the same reasons.  Like when Dolly Parton says: “Time marches on and eventually you realize it’s marching across your face.”

That is very true.  And it is also goddamned sad.  But it is exceptionally funny.

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VISION

March 21, 2010

Vision

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

March 21, 2009

Vision. What is it? How do you create it? What is yours? Who do you share it with?

Vision accounts for the artist’s rendering, the leader’s direction, and the lovers’ commitment. Vision accounts for success. It is what attracts business and followers and it determines the longevity of the relationship.

Vision, like success, sounds singular, but it isn’t. It is an ongoing process. You don’t have a vision and then it is over. A person isn’t one day successful and then all is said and done. A vision drives you forward, creating the ongoing success you desire in relationships, in knowledge, in work, and in yourself.

Nobody can create your vision for you. They can help you find it, but ultimately you are responsible for creating your own vision… or not. When you create your vision, and you believe in it, you will find that there are other people who share in and believe in it, too. These people can help you execute your vision.
But remember, not all visions are successful. Deceptive visions will end in destruction. Visions that lack motivation or commitment will end in failure. The successful visions always seek to help more than yourself.

Put simply, a vision is what you want to see and be in the world. It starts in your mind, grows in your heart, and stays in your words and actions. It guides you. And as long as you hold onto it and believe in it, you will see it manifest in your life over and over again.

But it isn’t easy. Most things worth doing rarely are. And as soon as you give up on it… *poof*… it is gone.

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For My Mom

March 14, 2010

Moms

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

March 14, 2010

Spring blossoms
And shortened sleeves
Summer gardens
Petals and earth
Autumn breezes
And restless leaves
Winter bluster
Comfort in dearth
My mother’s ear
There when I need
My mother’s love
There since my birth

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Probabilities

February 28, 2010

Probabilities

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

February 28, 2010

As I understand it, in Quantum Mechanics, the smallest particles are merely probabilities that cannot be observed without changing them. They function as a wave and as soon as you observe them, the wave function collapses and your observation settles on one probability that you determine is reality. All of those other infinite probabilities get lost in other alternate universes.

The change isn’t outside you. The change is in you.

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Relationships

February 21, 2010

Everybody Means Something

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

February 21, 2010

All relationships are meaningful. The fact that a relationship doesn’t mean much is itself meaningful.

I’ve had friendships, acquaintances, loves come and go and stay in life. Each one has added to my understanding of myself and others. Some of the most intense and short-lived relationships have had the most meaning.

I don’t think you can judge the meaningfulness of a relationship until you understand how it has affected you. With every relationship you grow in some dimension. And sometimes you don’t see the reward or the missed opportunity until it is over.

That said, I find the most growth and reward comes when I am honest with my feelings, even if my feeling tell me that the relationship should end.

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A Song for the Seasons

January 10, 2010

A Part of It

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

January 10, 2010

January embers
Nestled in the hearth
Fueling warmth in our souls
Deep is the winter
For those kept apart
Smoldering love’s captive coals

The winter offers
Little reprieve
From the harsh and swirling chill
February sweets
Tucked under sleeve
As a lover’s delight to fulfill

March breathes renew
Into creatures of slumber
The stirring of motherly natures
Sanguine in spring
The seeds in their umber
Draw up to the season’s allures

Showers converge
Clean fills the senses
Foliage sprouts verdant and lithe
April’s ballet
Through flowery fields
Our sprits encouraged and blithe

May in the slender
Satchel of flowers
Offered to maids in waiting
Suitable tenders
To active desires
Drawn to the pull of the baiting

Lemonade stands
And grasshopper songs
Inspire warm summer musings
June passes slowly
Active and long
To the whim of every soul’s choosing

July soon arouses
Sweat to the brow
As picnics alight on the lawn
Sprinkler rainbows
And firework shows
Carry our courage along

The dog days of summer
Stifle our hearts
We long for the beach and a beer
August vacations
Humid and hot
Alas, a new season draws near

September sends us
Back into schedule
Summer fades slowly away
Rough leather pigskin
The crack of the bat
Warriors resume the year’s play

Autumn leaves
Crackle and fold
Full of fiery brightness
October breezes
Chilly and bold
Our shadows blown steeply behind us

November passes
With giving of thanks
Providing a measure of asking
What does it matter
When passion is frank
And love is not lost in the masking?

Rain and snow
And days of fog
The fleeting of daylight and time
December passes
With festivals bright
And notions of treasures and pine

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Branding

November 22, 2009

campbells

November 22, 2009

There’s a lot of talk these days about branding and I’m sick of it. I understand what it is for: name recognition. But that doesn’t make it any more palatable.

I just think the concept has gone too far. Great, I get it. You think soup, you think Campbell’s. You think of cola, you think Coke or Pepsi. You think of soft ass wipe, you think Charmin.

Or do you?

Just because you know the name and what it’s associated with, does it mean you use it? Does it mean it’s the best?

Here’s a test for you: Beer. What brand did you think of? How about this: piss-water Beer. I bet you thought of Coors or Miller or Bud, didn’t you. It doesn’t matter whether you like those beer brands or not. Piss water is synonymous with cheap beer, even though those brands aren’t that cheap anymore. That isn’t how they want their brand known, but someone said it somewhere and it stuck in the collective consciousness.

I can’t say that I am particularly loyal to any one brand. Sure, in my house you will find Triscuit or Pepsi or Xbox360 among many other brands. But I haven’t always used those products and I can’t say with any certainty that I will continue to. I drive a Saturn now, but my last car was a Hyundai, and the one before that was a Plymouth, and the one before that was a Ford.

I have pretty varied tastes and opinions. I like to experiment and explore. I will give for awhile to consistency, but surprise can just as easily wrench me away. It really just comes down to value and relevancy in my life at any particular given time.

Am I alone in this?

Maybe so. Because now there is “Brand You.” Now you get to be just like a product: consistent in sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, and memory. Now you get to be packaged and mass consumed. All the rage is to brand yourself.

Here’s another test for you: Paris Hilton. Yeah, that’s what I thought. She will never break out of her brand, no matter what she does.

I’m not a cow. I don’t want to be branded. Do I want name recognition? Sure, it wouldn’t hurt. I could sell a few more books. Think Danielle Steel. Yeah, I don’t want that kind of name recognition.

You might think I’m nuts, but the day I become consistent in what I produce is the day that I lose my soul. I know a lot of people will disagree with me. They are all busy working up their personal brands. Good for them.

I have a word of warning, though. Watch what you get known for. Vince Offer… ShamWow! anyone? He’ll never shake it.

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Lawnmowers, Leafblowers, and Rakes, Oh My!

September 17, 2009

Foothills 9

November 23, 2008

It’s Fall. And what happens to leaves in Fall? That’s right. They FALL. And when you live in Sonoma County, Fall can be both warm and wet… so grass still grows. And if you have a lawn, you still need to cut it.

I’ve got nice neighbors. We don’t talk much, but we’re square with each other. The other day we arrived home in our driveways at the same time. After hi, he commented “if only leaves were money, huh?” I looked at his lawn: cropped with a sprinkle of dead leaves. I looked over at my lawn: shaggy beneath a carpet of leaves that crawled onto the sidewalk and driveway. I can take a hint. Time to get busy.

Now when my neighbors cut their lawns it looks like an ordeal. They bring out their lawnmowers, their leafblowers, their rakes, their brooms and dustpans, their croppers and their clippers and their kitchen sinks. Half a year later they’ve got a yard to crow about. Does it really take all that work?

When I manicure my front yard I’ve got one tool: a lawnmower. It’s really all you need. The lawnmower has a bag so crap doesn’t go everywhere. Cuts the lawn just fine. Lawn needs edging? You just lower the wheels and edge it. Bushes need a trim? Tilt the mower up and trim them. And the leaves? You just mow them up. It might LOOK a little silly… some clown mowing his driveway and the sidewalk. But it works. Because it’s simple.

Sure, there’s a little bit left over: some crumbles from the leaves; some grass shavings. I could break out the broom and dust pan, but why bother? I’ll just use my leafblower… The Wind.

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40

September 9, 2009

Author Photo

November 9, 2008

1 cell searching merging with another
1 heart beating out the sound of its own drum
2 limbs bending stretching marking ground
1 moment over another has begun
I am 5 as I am one

1 discerns a fragrance foul fair or fine
2 orbs bleeding light into the mind
1 void transmits sound into the air
2 caves recognize the message that is there
5 digits feel a world so alive
1 soul searching where to dwell
I am 12

Gone are the 4 Kings courting the Sun
Gone are the 4 Queens kissing the Moon
4 rogue Jacks have left this town
4 Aces high have gone to ground
1 Spade turns the earth around
1 Clover’s luck has come
1 Diamond rough at last is found
1 Heart beats out its drum
1 Joker bears to witness
I am 21

24 hours to get things done
2 hands race around its face
4 seasons merge and melt as one
10 companions lost in space
It all seems such a mystery to me
I am 40

My name is Scott Byorum. I was born November 9, 1968. Today is my birthday. I am 40 years old. Thank you for sharing time with me.

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Trust

September 8, 2009

Guardian 2

November 2, 2008

I put my faith in the people I interact with. I have faith that they are good, honest people with positive intentions. In most cases, this has led to successful engagements and results. In turn, I find those that I have faith in also have faith in me. In some instances, my faith has been taken advantage of and squandered. It has hurt, but it’s ok, because it tells me who should not belong in my life.

The reason for my trust is because I have needs. I am not self-sufficient. I don’t have all the answers. So, in order to survive, to define my perceptions, and to create success I need to rely on others. And in order to get from others, I need to give as well. It takes less energy to give trust and take it away later, if necessary, than it takes to hold back trust until it is “deserved.” I tend to think others are trying to survive, define themselves, and create success just like me. So trust is the opening of the door, the handshake and smile to aid one another in obtaining these 3 things. It is the old adage: “The more you give, the more you get.” And giving and receiving require trust.

There have been times in my life when I didn’t trust myself. I try to stay out of situations where I don’t trust what my reaction will be. But mainly, I trust myself because I am not anyone else and I am not a puppet. If you don’t put faith in yourself, if you don’t trust yourself, you will make unnecessary mistakes and be open to be played the fool or preyed upon by those who do not have a concept of trust… who lack respect for what trust is. If you don’t trust yourself, then you will not learn from your mistakes and you will repeat them. If you don’t trust yourself, then you will not create success, you will not know who you are, and you will endanger your survival.

Whether it is a person, event, or thing, I feel that trust is the belief in a positive understanding of the outcome. Lack of trust is the belief in a negative outcome and a path to folly and confusion. There are times I have both, but I put stock in trust first, until shown that I should distrust.

I would say that a friend and advisor is one who is consistent in helping you create positive outcomes and furthers your understanding; one who has shown to be an invaluable resource to your success, your knowledge, and your survival. But the key word here is consistent.

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